August 25, 2017

Will write for money

I've been independently publishing for a while now. In addition to voraciously studying the craft of writing, I've scrutinized every aspect of marketing. I've done the research. And I've done most things right. No, I have, trust me. I've had the best cover designers, killer blurbs, made sure the stories hit all the marks and were well edited, priced my books right, used targeted keywords, bought the best marketing I could afford, did cross promos with other authors, Facebook ads, AMS ads, newsletters, giveaways ... You name it, I did it.

And it worked! I was able to make a living from my book sales.

And then it stopped working. It stopped working hard.

For months, I've been in downward spiral, propping myself up and pretending like everything is okay -- except it's not. It's not okay. My writing career is floundering. I'm struggling to sell books for $3.99 when people are buying $6.00 lattes on a daily basis. 

"Maybe it's time to get a job ..." (actual words spoken to me)

Last time I checked, writing is a job. I work harder now than I did in my twenty four years in advertising (an industry that left me depressed and suicidal). It's not only hours of writing, but there's a ton of marketing and research. It's actually two jobs that take up a lot of time and energy. Ask my friends who rarely see me, even on the weekends, because I'm always working. All the time working.

To supplement my dwindling book income, I took a part-time nanny gig. Now it looks like I might have to get another job to supplement my supplemental job. And this is with thirteen published books, friends. Books that are not terrible. Books my readers love. I have no idea why they don't sell.

Here's the thing, the real struggle isn't financial. My husband won't kick me out on the streets if I don't bring in enough money. The struggle is emotional. I'm sad. I'm angry. I'm bummed. I'm ashamed I can't figure it out. I just want to write books. Let me rephrase that, I want to make a living writing books.

Yeah, I know this sounds whiny, but seriously -- why can't I have both? Write books AND make money. Thousands of authors are doing it quite successfully. I was doing it for a period of time.

I don't know where my writing career will go from here, but I do know -- without an inkling of doubt -- that I'll keep writing. No matter what. 

If you're a struggling author, my heart goes out to you. You're not alone. What helps me is to remember that writing is a gift. And while the world might be indifferent whether I publish another book or not, it matters to me. It matters to the One who bestowed me with the gift of writing. 

As writers, it's our job to keep writing -- no matter what. We don't know who will read our words or what sort of ripples they may make in the world. Maybe we'll make one person less indifferent. Or maybe we'll inspire someone to write their own stories. Or maybe we can show people that reading books is far more fulfilling than coffee. 

Winnie is bummed, too. 

Keep writing. It saves lives.

April 26, 2017

Anxiety is the gateway drug to depression

So ... I've been a bit busy. I'm about to launch my thirteenth book into the world. Consider this a warning to those who are close to me. Post-launch aftershocks are real.

For the last nine months, I've been experimenting with a concept called "Write to Market." Basically, this is selecting a specific trending market and putting out frequent content in hopes to sell tons of books. There's a lot more to it, but that's the gist. At first it was fabulous ... but then the pendulum swung the other way. Now it's just exhausting. Don't get me wrong, it was an incredible experience. I loved writing every single one of those books. I think they're solid, action-packed page-tuners. I wouldn't publish something that wasn't up to snuff. I respect my readers too much to hack it out. I'm just saying they're not literary masterpieces. Child please, I write swashbuckling science fiction. 

Now that I'm finished with my commitments (except for this one last dragon-themed novella that's due in a month), I'm at a crossroads. I don't know what to write next. This is unprecedented for someone as anal retentive as me. I usually know what's happening the next six months out. I'm a planner. A producer of things. Type A. I don't relax or go with the flow. I'm uptight. This might be why I suffer from frequent bouts of depression. 

Anxiety is the gateway drug to depression.

If any of you writers out there suffer from the insanity of being a creative thinker, you're not alone. Writers are experts at concocting mental torture because that's what we do--come up with the worst or best case scenarios. All day long. Add publishing to the mix and, well, it's a recipe for disaster. My sponsor looked at me the other day and said, "I think you get triggered every time you launch a book." I laughed. "You think?" Triggered is code for FUCKING INSANE. I've launched twelve books and it does NOT get easier. 

But I wouldn't change a thing. 

So why on earth would I continue to torture myself on a continual basis?

This is how I explain it ... I've never had babies, but I think it's kind of like that -- you spend months creating your book, the process has been painful and grueling, but incredibly rewarding and amazing. When your book is finally finished, you're ready to "give birth" to the thing. So you launch it into the world. After that happens, you're nuts for a little while. You might even have postpartum depression. Then things taper out and you forget the misery you just went through, you only see the best parts. So you get pregnant again and go through the whole mess all over.

So yeah, it's a form of insanity, but whatever. I can't imagine how much more insane I'd be if I weren't writing. Oh wait, yes I can. I put off writing books until I was in my mid-thirties. Up to that point, I was boozing and using like nobody's business in hopes to stifle the relentless voice in my head that wanted--needed--to be heard. I'm putting this lightly. I was bat shit crazy. Ask my ex-husbands. 

It's a miracle I'm alive today. I owe it to God for pulling me through the fire and not letting me haphazardly throw away the gift He gave to me. The call to write. If you've heard it, I'm telling you now, there's no way around it. So go write something.

Keep writing. It saves lives.

October 8, 2016

Powered By Indie

I love writing. I'd much rather write than talk. Anyone who knows me can confirm this statement. Though I started writing when I was about twelve years old, I didn't publish my first full-length novel until I was forty-three. Why? Because I kept getting distracted by things. So many things ... Boys. Problems. Wine. Husbands. Work. The eight-year memoir that died a slow death. The list is endless.

Not once did the tiny voice of creativity stop whispering in my ears. In fact it was relentless. And I'm grateful for its perseverance. That it didn't give up on me. Thankful that I released my fears and stubborn will and finally conceded to getting down to the business of writing.

At the moment, I have ten books available on Amazon, and a new series launching in March. I plan to write one book after the next book until I run out of steam or ideas. Since the universe provides a never-ending explosion of ideas, I suspect I'll run out of steam first.

I want to help writers finish their novels. So, check out my "Hire Me to be Your Outline Coach" page (link is in the top right column). If you're interested in working with me, use the contact form.

In the meantime, to celebrate Indie Author Day here's a lovely video my author friend, Jessica Watts put together.

May 5, 2016

How YA Fans Started a Bookstagram Movement on Instagram

Whoever said paper books are a dying thing must not be on Instagram. I can't stop seeing books in my feed. I wanted to dedicate an article to a very special group of ladies I've been fortunate to find. They are book lovers who have cultivated an entire movement creating art with books. Their official title: Bookstagrammers. Their photographs are lovely and creative -- and they make me want buy more books! I wanted to celebrate them and their unique artistry, so I interviewed each one asking why they started taking pictures of their favorite books.

Alexandra Ling aka @twirlingpages  (40.9k Followers)
"I created my #bookstagram after realizing Instagram would be a wonderful platform to share my love for books and challenge my creativity through photography." 

Tracey Spiteriaka aka @youngadultbookaddict (83.7k Followers)
"I originally started my Instagram account in the hopes of finding one or two people who shared my love of books, since none of my friends or family are really readers. I never in my wildest dreams expected my photos to garner as much attention as they do, but I've met some truly wonderful people because of it!"

Adriana Vélez aka @booksthetics (16.7k Followers)  
"I started bookstagramming because in it, I found a community of people that share the same passions as I do, which is to say books and photography and arts and everything that relates. And I must say, that my passion for all of these has grown and grown ever since I joined. Not to mention I've met so, so, so many loving, caring people, and in them I've found friends that I don't doubt I'll cherish forever. I love it, and I love them!"

Cherry aka @_forevermint (14.1K Followers)
"I started taking photos of books because I needed an outlet for my inner fangirl, at the time I had no idea bookstagram existed but I was quickly introduced to the amazing community and it's been my second home ever since."

Taylor Knight aka @taylorreads (63.4k Followers)   
"I wanted to share the books I love with fellow readers and connect with others about books."


Jeanette Le aka @myriadinklings (50.6k Followers)
Jen wanted me to write something about her, so I'll tell you why I love her pictures. Her color palettes are impeccable and she's incredibly charming. Oh, and her room is pink!

Raeleen Lemay aka @raeleenlemay  (18.3k Followers)
"I've been making videos about books on YouTube for over four years now, and I'm finally getting into taking pictures of books (and loving it). It's another great way to express my creativity, while also including my love of books."

Tamsien West aka @babblingbooks  (15.9k Followers) 
"One of my favourite things about sharing book photos and reviews is all the incredible friends I have made from all over the world. It is a joy to connect with inspiring, encouraging & sometimes challenging people. They motivate me through reading slumps, blow me away with excellent book recommendations, press me to read outside my comfort zone, and enrich my world far more than I ever could have anticipated.

To me, it's not just about taking photos of books, it's about sharing stories on pages and the stories in our hearts. It has been said that readers live a thousand lives, and I think that truth is only amplified when shared with friends."

Gabby Gibson aka @_myfictionalworld/  (23.3k Followers)
"I started taking pictures of books because I love instagram and I wanted to share my love for books on a platform that I know and love."

Allissa Lemaire aka @abookishloveaffair (80.1k Followers)
"My reason for starting my bookstagram account is simple; I love to read and I needed some way to express and share that love with people who could fully understand just how much books mean to me. Bookstagram is such a beautiful and inviting community of people we book lovers can relate to."

There are plenty of #bookstagrammers on Instagram, so go out there and find your tribe! Your feed will be filled with endless streams of beauty. And your TBR pile will increase exponentially. 

Keep writing. It saves

March 12, 2016

That wonderful amazing incredible phenomenal feeling

It's been MONTHS since I posted here. I've been incredibly busy writing and editing my latest novel. Today when I finished editing the last paragraph (took about two hours for four sentences), I felt that feeling. The one I love so dearly. The feeling that keeps me going when I want to quit everything. The feeling of being a writer. There's something so deeply rewarding about spending months outlining, developing characters and plots, writing and re-writing (and re-writing) until you're finnnnnallllly ready to send your draft to that one friend who won't let you off the hook. It took months to get here, but this is what I live for. Writing.

These last few months, I've had to re-engineer my perspective on the indie publishing business. I was starting to lose my mind. All of my tried and true marketing tactics just stopped working. And I kept banging up against a very stubborn wall.  Marketing is only fun when it's working. Right? It sucks when you spend countless hours and money for very little return. So I decided to take a step back. I stopped trying so hard. I know this is the EXACT opposite of what smart marketing people practice, but man I feel SO much better. I also stopped looking at my sales reports. Now when I get royalty deposit it's like a sparkly gift from a friendly unicorn.

For my last book series I wanted to go the self-publishing route so I could learn about the industry. But for this novel I'm going to send out query letters. I hope I'll miraculously find a young adult agent who will fall in love with my book (and me). Simple, right? Yeah, rejection blows. But I want/need to try something different. Honestly, I have nothing to lose.

When all else fails -- keep writing. It saves lives.

Follow me on Instagram for #keepbookmarching. 

December 7, 2015

Writing from the heart

So... that's my view all week long. I'm in Ojai, CA on a personal writer's retreat. I finally finished my outline for the next novel and I needed a change of scenery to get started on the first draft. Ojai brings out the best in me. Probably because it's so quiet compared to Los Angeles. And, well, trees. Lots of trees. I come up to the Ojai Retreat at least once a year to clear my head and reboot. This time around there's a little rabbit following me from place to place. It's good to be among woodland creatures.

These last two years of publishing my young adult book series have been a roller coaster ride of excitement, fear and joy. Authoring novels is something I've dreamed about since I was a little girl. No kidding, I used to do imaginary interviews on the Johnny Carson show about being one of the youngest authors out there. Definitely not the case now. It took me decades to step out of the shadows and follow my true passion. Putting off what I really wanted was a helpful cloaking device that seemed safe at the time, but eventually hiding from myself depleted my soul. Fear is such a bully.

I thought once I published my books, I'd be in hog heaven. But I soon found myself forcing solutions and ending up more and more miserable, I finally hit a rock bottom. My selfish ambition was killing me. My efforts weren't bringing me any additional joy, I just wanted more and more. It's our nature, us silly fallen creatures, to want more. To cure this ailment, I've been working hard to be grateful for everything I have and not looking at what I don't.

As I begin my next novel I don't have any expectations other than to do my best and enjoy the process. Learning to deal with my inner demons of wanting more and not feeling good enough has been one of the greatest gifts of writing. I'm happy to say that I'm finally able to move on with a grateful heart. Onward!

This guy.

 Keep writing. It saves lives. 

October 10, 2015

Six things to help launch your book

In October 2013, I published my first novel. As of October 2016, I'm about to publish my ninth. Over the years, I've done extensive research and talked to countless authors about the publishing industry. I love offering help to writers who are just starting out on the journey. First, I want to say, it's not an easy one. It has ups and downs, ins and outs, hours of isolation, grueling hours of solving what feels like trigonometry equations, moments of frustration and discouragement followed by limitless joy. I wouldn't change it for the world.

Whenever someone sends me an email asking for advice about launching a book, I have a go-to list of tips (which you'll find below). I'm also available to hire as your very own author project manager. I help organize timelines, work with you on the outline, share my vendors, and hold your hand until the first draft is completed. If you hire me, you WILL finish your book. As long as you're willing to commit.

For now, let's focus on getting some visibility in a highly saturated market. Let's say you already have a book and you're ready to get it out in the world. Whether you're looking for an agent or going the indie route, you'll need to do a lot of your own marketing if you want to sell books. That's just the way it is these days. There are SO many different approaches to marketing and it changes daily. The more creative and organic, the better. Below are a few things that have worked for me...

1) Get reviews

I try to get about 25 - 35 advanced reader reviewers before I announce the launch my book, but you can do this after it's launched. I email ebooks about a month before the book launch and follow up a few days prior with a friendly reminder to please post their review on launch day.

2) Announce your launch

On launch day, email friends, family, and your mailing list (if you don't have a mailing list - start one TODAY). Email every single person you know and tell them about your book launch. List your book at a lower price and let people know it's "on sale" for the first week. These folks get the ball rolling, and when they start buying your book, your Amazon rank increases, which will attract new readers and move you up the ranks in the "Hot New Releases" category. Also, announce your launch on every social media site -- but find a fun way to share this news with your followers. Try a Facebook book launch with some other authors, or by yourself. Exhausting, but has some benefits.

3) Advertising

When you do promos (free days or discounts), some sites will post your promo for free, others will charge a small fee. My favorites (and this changes): ENT, Ebook Hounds, BKnights, Awesome Gang, Bargain Booksy, Booksends, Fussy Librarian and Book Raid. If you can get a Book Bub ad, bless your heart. This has been a game changer for many people.

4) Publish more books

The more content you have, the more you sell. Just keep writing -- no matter what. 

5) Join some author groups on Facebook

Or start one with some like-minded writers in your genre. If you can get other authors to give your new release a shout out, that really helps a lot. It doesn't hurt to ask. And don't take it personally if they say no. They probably get a lot of requests.

6) Ongoing sales/price pulsing

You'll want to monitor your sales and when they start to drop, you might want to lower your prices and do a promo to announce the sale. This will breathe some life back into your book.

7) Giveaways

I used to do free ebook promos, but after giving away about 60,000 books, I'm no longer taking this approach. If you're new, I recommend enrolling in KDP Select so readers can borrow your book through Kindle Unlimited. These days the only free books I give out are for my exclusive readers on my mailing list. Goodreads giveways maybe. I haven't done one in a while. But they're good if you're a new author.

8) Study the industry and stay on top of the trends

Below are some great websites; some offer free PDFs with marketing tips:  (go to the Writer's Cafe forum)

Hopefully this is enough to keep you very busy as you research your next steps! Writing is the easy part (ha!) -- it's the marketing that hurts. I suggest having fun with all of it and trying out different things to see what works best for you.

Best of luck to you in your writing career!

Keep writing. It saves lives.

August 18, 2015

Friendship, forgiveness and staying gold

This is guest post by my dear sister-friend Stefanie Timpke. I could say all of these words back to her (but probably not as eloquently or heartrending). Stefanie taught me how to show up for a friend and stay there - no matter what. Also, I want this read at my memorial one day. 

      1985                                                                                                                2015

It happens all the time, this crazy love of mine…

…wraps around my heart, refusing to unwind:

Simone and I have been friends since we were about 10 years old. I'm not sure how it started, logistically speaking, but we were neighborhood kids. She lived two streets away, which I predict prolonged our union by about five years. It seems you have to be at least ten before your world grows beyond your immediate block.  It may have been Erika that introduced us; maybe Adrienne and Erika—but either way—Simone and I always had something special; a language we spoke that was ours alone. We were always tirelessly trying to perfect the art of being as cool as humanly possible--and sometimes that caused us to fight.  And we had some blow outs.  But we always made up.  Simone and I always made up.

These days we don’t fight. We have earned this sweet spot. And it has been worth every single bad break and misunderstanding. This is friendship gold. And you can’t get here without putting in the time and staying the course. This kind of thing is not a rite of passage—it’s an earned mosaic that not everyone will have; only the brave ones with the courage to continue and, when the truth calls for it, admit they’re wrong, will have a thing like this.

When I opened my hotel door at Farmers Daughter Hotel in LA (I highly recommend this spot) and saw Simone, I felt 12 years old again. I always feel somewhere between 12 and 16 years old when I am with Simone.  Not because I feel especially immature—but because my heart feels courageous and youthful and unfettered by any of the shit storms that have hardened it a little as life has happened. Simone’s presence melts that away, and I have the eyes of Rusty James from S.E. Hinton's Rumblefish. She can remember vivid details of the past because she has a shockingly sharp memory. And I rely heavily on her to tell me about things from back there because my memory is spotty.  I have some crystal clear Polaroid's in the archives that I can access and scan if I want to—some diamonds for sure--but there is not much in the way of entire events. Simone has all that, and she can jog my memory as if she’s been trained to do it. I used to get upset about the blank spots—but I think God does what’s best for us. 

It always seems unfathomable how time has stood still when I see her. Whenever I'm with her, I tell her how young she looks. I don’t think she believes me. I think she hears that platitude kind of sentiment you say to someone in their 40’s that you’ve known your whole life—that “Oh my God, you haven’t aged” kind of thing. But to me, Simone legitimately still looks 20.  Maybe when you've gone through your formidable years side by side it’s the face that prevails. And maybe when you’ve looked up to that person and they have shown you the kind of love that involves giving you their coveted Matt Dillon poster because they knew how bad you wanted it, or have written songs with you and given you the courage to sing them on a stage because they knew it was a dream of yours, or took the risk to open their arms wide to hug you when you were charging towards them in rage--maybe when you have that kind of history—maybe that face is just always the face of youth. Or maybe the youth and beauty in the face comes from the spirit that shines through it.

The thing I remember most vividly about my last visit with Simone in LA, was when we were in the pool at the Palomar and she pushed off the bottom into a dolphin-like back flip; our signature childhood move.  I knew when she did it I had one of those priceless Polaroid's in my mind that I would be able to access forever. And I believe this image of Simone, and others like it compiled over time, will be the things that will continually strengthen my character. These things make me brave. This kind of love gives me the courage to continue. And, oh man, the laughter . . . so much laughing . . . all the time with the laughing. 

What a gift to have a friend where there is no such thing as linear time.  And how remarkable it is that we have stuck by each for well over 30 years, and that at every sad time when it was hard to breath—like when my dad died, or that God-dang wedding disaster -- she was there somehow. And she has always told me the same thing in the toughest times -- she says, “Stefanie your spirit is bigger than this and your heart is stronger.”  Simone will walk right into the dark and bring the hope right there to you. That is friendship gold. And she is a friendship warrior.

Some days you just need to sit with someone who understands about how you went to that weird alternative high school because you just couldn’t stay awake in class or stay at school, and how much you truly loved that boy in Colorado and how bad it hurt when he left us, and how it felt to pretend I was her when she was too shy to call the boy she loved, and what it’s like to have the cops chase you away from another perfect night at Parkwood Elementary, and how much we love our parents, and all the times we fell and got up—just all of it . . . every bit of your life is understood.  And you don’t even have to say a word. Sometimes you get on a plane and you fly to a person like that. And you just sit with them. And you are braver for it.

When Johnny told Ponyboy to stay gold we knew he was talking to us.

Thank you, Stefanie, for your beautiful words, your love, your light, your soul and for being here for me -- through it all. I love you, Simone

Keep writing. It saves lives.

May 26, 2015

Interview with My Amazing ACX Audiobook Narrator

I'm super excited for the release of my audiobook for The City Center! I worked with the incredibly talented Sarah Zimmerman. She really brought the story to life. I wanted to share her with my readers, so below is my interview with Sarah.

What was the inspiration behind becoming a voice actor?

Reading aloud has always been something that fascinated me. As an actress, it was a form of exploration vocally. I would even read my college textbooks aloud - as if teaching a class. (I realize the nerd-status that statement just gave me.) It gave me another level of understanding and, beyond that, made it way more enjoyable for me. It was a pretty natural transition going from acting to audiobooks. They’re cut from the same cloth.

What does your work environment look like?

My recording booth is a room-within-a-room. It’s very high-tech and provides the beautiful sound of silence. Like, really silent. Once the door is shut, it’s surprisingly peaceful. It’s a seemingly simple set-up... desk, monitor, mic, favorite pen... I love going in there. 

How did your upbringing shape who you are today?

Fortunately, my upbringing was loving, secure, and supportive. Everybody rallied around each others' endeavors and pretty much everything was a reason to celebrate. There was a lot of hope infused into everything. The real, honest-to-goodness kind of hope that changes the way you see the world and your place in it. A hope grounded in reality which makes it all the sweeter.

What’s the best piece of acting advice you’ve received?

No joke - “Stop moving your feet.” I heard that when I was about 13 and it helped me to just stop trying to act and start the process of learning to pay attention and to listen. Pretty basic stuff - but at 13 it blew my mind. It proved to be the beginning of a real understanding into the power of stillness and reacting honestly.

What is the most powerful challenge when it comes to narrating a novel?

Finding the tone; kind of like finding the author’s or protagonist’s voice - where they’re coming from. I have trouble getting through even a page if that’s not discovered. Once that tone is found though, everything else tends to fall into place.

What’s the best part about narrating a novel?

When it’s really working - when it all feels right - it’s thrilling. There’s something deeply satisfying about communicating in this way - collaborating with the written word to create something that is consistent with the original intention. I love that.

What’s your favorite way to spend your time?

Any minute I have with my husband and son is golden.

The City Center Audiobook is available on iTunes and Audible and Amazon


Keep writing. It saves lives.

April 27, 2015

What I still haven't learned in my 40s

In about four months, I plan to embark upon middle age-dom. Lately, I've tortured myself by reading articles decorated with sage words about lessons learned, and how all of life's moments string together, culminating a larger understanding of self. That it's those very important lessons that eventually lead to a peaceful and beautiful plateau called the 40s. Sometimes I want to punch my laptop. Is anyone doing that great––all the time?

Those type of articles force me think about all of the things I still haven't learned in my 40s. Am I supposed to know this stuff? And like, practice it every day? Because most days I want to run away to a small town and not tell anyone where I'm going. Kind of like Julia Roberts in "Sleeping with the Enemy" only I don't want a boyfriend because that just seems like a lot of work. And there are days when I think maybe I should move back home with my parents. But since I already did that when I turned 30, I might've used up all my "move back home with parents" cards. 

Other days I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and fix the mistakes my younger self made. That way maybe this current self would be sitting on a mountaintop, soaking in God's beauty, singing songs of praise, rather than wondering how much money I need to save to not go back to work for another couple of months. I'm actually surprised nobody has figured out how to do this yet. How is it that we can send a selfie through space and into millions of phones, but we can't figure out how to go back in time?

There are days when I'm totally cool with my life and absolutely grateful for the blessings. Then I'll get on Facebook and the old feelings of insecurity, jealousy and rejection crop up––just like in high school. I mean, look at all of these fancy people visiting exotic places, going to parties that I'm not invited to, eating food I don't eat and taking pictures of their pretty feet next to a poolside margarita that I can't drink because I had to stop doing that ten years ago. Also, I have ugly feet so this last one really gets to me.

The other thing I'm still clueless about is my career. The decision I made in my early twenties was exciting at the time because I had a lot more energy and tolerance. When you're twenty-one you can run around all day, come up with fresh ideas, drink all afternoon and still get up the next day to perform tasks. But twenty-four years later, I'm still freelancing in that industry, while simultaneously trying to figure out how to sell millions of books. And I'm tired. Like my back-hurts-all-the-time tired.

It doesn't help that with every freelance gig the people keep getting younger and way hotter. They look at me like, who's this old lady and why is she telling me what to do? When I'm in the midst of hunting down someone for a meeting, who refuses to go until that other person is in the room, I think to myself: what have I done wrong and should I get a job as a security guard, where I don't have to talk to people?

I see my friends with kids and my head explodes. How do these people juggle eight-hundred things at once and still manage to take my calls? I can't comprehend that level of exhaustion. It's admirable. And though they might be exhausted now, they made the smartest investment. When they're old and sitting in their retirement homes, at least they'll have someone to bring them their soup. I'll probably be holed up in some crappy facility with only albums of my Boston Terriers keeping me company.

Maybe I'm the outlier and most of you in your 40s (or younger) have learned a bunch of amazing things about life, and you're crushing it on a daily basis. Or maybe you're like me and the one thing you know is there's a lot of stuff you still don't know. But isn't that the point of life––to keep searching and growing? To continue developing loving relationships with ourselves and others––even when that seems impossible?

The most important lesson I keep bumping up against is acceptance. That it's okay to still be messy in my 40s. I'll probably still be messy in my 50s, and most likely well into my 60s. I think by my 90s I'll be right where I'm supposed to be. Looking back on my life and smiling about all of it. Every single moment––the good and the bad.

Keep writing. It saves lives.

February 13, 2015

YA takes a fresh approach

I recently read a YA novel written by fellow author, Emily Wibberley. I loved Sacrificed so much I was compelled to share the news of her launch (which is today, by the way). Emily takes a unique approach to YA by placing her characters in an ancient civilization and setting up an exciting adventure with twists and turns. I mean, there are oracles in this thing. Oracles. So cool. It is clear she has done her homework -- the details are rich and dialed in. Her characters are realistic, layered and perfectly flawed. And there's palpable tension coupled with seemingly insurmountable obstacles, which I always enjoy. I was rooting for Clio the whole time and enjoyed experiencing her metamorphosis. Also, the cover is pretty badass. Emily's debut novel comes out strong and I'm looking forward to a lot more from this author.

I asked Emily what inspired her to write this story:

I suppose writing is in my blood, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t have to fall in love with it too. I grew up around writers. They taught me to cherish story in all its mediums and genres. But it’s YA that stole my heart and ultimately made me want to join in the writing tradition. There’s something so uniquely beautiful about a coming of age story, more so when it’s a coming of age story targeted at those who are coming of age in their own right. I insatiably read everything in YA that I could get my hands on, and still it wasn’t enough. Sacrificed came out of so many things in my life, but what it all boils down to is this bone-deep love I have for this genre.

You can buy Sacrificed today on Amazon!

Emily Wibberley graduated form Princeton University in June 2014. Today, she lives in Southern California with her two rescue German Shepherds. You can find out more by visiting her website:, or following her on Twitter: @Wibbs_Ink.

Keep writing. It saves lives.

January 14, 2015

Words are eternal

I haven't posted in a while because I've been too dark. I decided to drive up to Ojai — my favorite place on earth — to get right with myself, and God. There's something magical up here in these mountains.

I just read a post from one of my favorite authors, Hugh Howey, regarding the self-publishing industry. I was so inspired by his words that I had to write a new post. He's the reason I decided to stop torturing myself with trying to publish the traditional route.

A few years ago, I had been shopping around my memoir (the one that died a horrible death). I had just received my fiftieth "thanks, but no thanks" and I felt like giving up. Instead, I put the memoir down and picked up my fiction manuscript I had started a while back. A little scrappy thing called The City Center. While I was at a writer's conference I had spoken to an agent and she liked the first ten pages, but asked me why there were people living inside the city center and I didn't know. Yikes. So I started brainstorming ideas and rewriting my manuscript, but I just couldn't come up with a solid reason about why they were inside the damn center.

Until one day in church, I heard the answer. It came to me like a bolt of lightning. I scribbled it down on a piece of paper and from that point I was able to finish my manuscript. Once it was in a good place, I started drafting my query letter. Yes, I was going to start querying agents again. Surely I'd have better luck. This book wasn't about my depressing alcoholic life. It was a dystopian sci-fi in the same vein as The Hunger Games. It'd be a hit! But when I started writing the query letter I got sick to my stomach. I just couldn't — no matter how hard I tried — come up with a reason to put myself through that torture again.

That's when I started reading Hugh Howey's story about his self-publishing journey and I thought maybe I could take that route. I had already self-published a couple of humor books and a book of essays, and though they were more personal and not marketed, I knew I had it in me to give it a shot. Only I wanted to take a more professional approach. I realized if I wanted to have any inkling of success, it'd be like running my own business. I voraciously studied the self-publishing industry and marketing. When I finally felt like I kinda sorta maybe knew what I was doing, I published The City Center.

Two years later, I have three published works and all three have hit Amazon's bestseller list in their category many times. I still haven't hit my childhood dream of making the NY Times bestseller list and I'm not making a living from my royalties (yet), but the fact that I have published works floating around in the world — and that readers enjoy them — is the greatest joy of my life (I just wrote this to Hugh Howey). I’ve been writing since I was a little girl. I started blogging in 2006 and wrote to a tiny audience. And I still do. But that doesn’t matter. Sometimes I get caught up in the world and read too many articles about building my platform, or how to reach a wider audience, or how to be the best friggin’ marketing genius ever in the entire world. And after I spin around in the cycle for a day or two, I dry off and get back to what really matters: writing. God gave me a desire to write. I’m going to fulfill that every single day of my life. Regardless if anyone is reading, buying or talking about my work. Success comes and goes, but words are eternal.

Keep writing. It saves lives. 

December 11, 2014

An open book

Is it possible to have postpartum depression if you've never given birth?

Since I launched my last book, I've been feeling a lot like what the Mayo clinic says happens to some women after giving birth: "a jumble of powerful emotions, from excitement and joy to fear and anxiety. But it can also result in something you might not expect — depression."

Hand raised! Yes. Yes, that's me. Only I didn't have a baby. I had a book. I should be celebrating, right? I guess some people do. I tried, but a wall of depression got in the way. (Mothers: I'm not saying writing and publishing a book is anything close to making and birthing a baby, I'm just saying I relate to the symptoms of postpartum depression, except for the joyful part and breastfeeding.)

These last few weeks have been like trying to walk up a rocky crag without any shoes, alone in the rain, with a four-hundred pound backpack. Maybe that's a bit dramatic. Okay, the backpack is fifty pounds. At the bottom of this sadness is the fact that reality isn't matching my expectations. Also, the radio silence from friends has been slightly discouraging (seriously, if you ever want people to avoid you like the plague -- publish some books). But underneath the superficial junk is the glaring fear that I'm not good enough. Good enough for what? Still trying to figure that one out.

Many authors/artists/musicians go through similar feelings after releasing work into the world. Months of being alone in your head, hunched over the laptop and listening to people who aren't really there can seem like a form of  madness, and when you finally come up for air to share your precious work with the world, it's freaking scary and weird. And it's worse when the reception doesn't look like Carrie Bradshaw's. Maybe I need me a Samantha?

The last couple of days have been better. I'm not hitting the refresh button on my sales page six hundred times, and I've stopped checking for new reviews. It's time to take the needle off the record and chill out. Anything worth something takes time. If I could buy a virtue it'd be patience.

Writing about this stuff might seem weak, but I've found (like my tagline says) that when I expose my demons they lose their power over me and I can live again.

Keep writing. It saves lives.

November 28, 2014

I'm down with being a winner

So . . . I finished NaNoWriMo (two days early) and I feel pretty good. In the midst of writing those 50,000 words in one month, I also launched my third book. Needless to say, I'm exhausted. BUT - I'm also very happy. I'm happy because I love writing. It brings me so much joy. In my soul. It's painful and grueling work, but there's something so deeply satisfying about finishing a draft. And I actually like what I wrote. However, I'm no dummy, I know I have a lot of work ahead of me. If I'm going to publish this book (a collection of short stories based on the Repatterning, which is inspired from my book series), I will need to spend the next couple months editing and rewriting. And that's where the real magic happens. Or insanity. Whichever you prefer.

For today I will soak in the happiness of being called a winner. It has to be true, the sticker says so:

Keep writing. It saves lives.

November 25, 2014

Why readers make writing so much more fun

I'm down to the last few days prior to the launch of my third book, The Mainframe. I wanted to write a glowing post about how amazing it's been preparing for the launch, but I have to say, it hasn't been pretty -- emotionally speaking. I've been very weird and messy. I'm still eating and showering, most of my friends are still talking to me, and my husband hasn't left me (yet), so that's good.

I've spent the last two months dividing my time between finalizing the production of the book and handling the marketing promotions. At one point I was simultaneously reading four books on book marketing, in addition to ten articles a day. Needless to say, I've done everything in my earthly power to get the word out. Now comes the hardest part: letting go. I have a sticky note on my computer that reads: I am powerless over the outcome. I still find time to debate this point, but I end up reaching the same annoying conclusion -- I am powerless.

My job is to provide my readers with good stories and if I've done my part, they'll do the rest for me. Word of mouth will always be the best form of advertising, and this is something the marketing gurus cannot teach.

Here's why readers make writing so much more fun (I love the outtakes):

Keep writing. It saves lives.