I’ve been offline for a week to focus on my book, but mostly because I needed a break. During this time I have contracted some deadly disease that has knocked me on my butt and kept me in bed for days. My dog won’t come near me, and poor Peter has had to run out and buy me stuff. Is there nothing more attractive than a man who steps up? I almost asked him to marry me a couple of times, but realized I should wait until I look and smell less like a swamp creature. Plus he’s been avoiding eye contact and it’s tough to ask someone to marry you if they won’t look at you.
This past week as I lay on my deathbed coughing and aching in excruciating pain (my brain actually hurts from coughing), I’ve realized how important social networking is for me – for all of us, really. First of all, I’m pretty sure it’s not a coincidence that I suddenly became deathly ill the moment I stepped away from my various websites and went off the grid. Incredible insights came to me, like how little I care about anything or anyone when I’m not connected to the internet. It’s apparent that without social networking I would die alone.
I made a list of why I think social networking is so important for our survival:
1. Keeps us physically healthy (this could be a coincidence, but I’m not taking anymore risks)
2. Teaches us to be altruistic by simply clicking a button to join a cause (great for self-worth)
3. We get invited to events we’ll never attend (it boosts our self-confidence to be included)
4. Endless supplies of potentially humorous videos or articles (laughter is the best medicine)
5. Stretches our creativity to come up with witty one-liners (challenges others to be more interesting)
6. Increases awareness about how much worse things could be (gratitude is good for the soul)
7. Continual updates on kids’ pooping and vomiting patterns (helps to deter population growth)
8. Alerts us when our friends are isolating and encourages us to reach out (brings us together)
9. Reminds us to wish Happy Birthday to people we hardly know (recognition boosts our confidence)
I’m still extremely sick and the medication is taking up a lot of my energy, but I’m sure there are hundreds of other reasons why social networking is vital to our survival. My final wish is that my near death experience has enlightened some of you as to how lucky we are to have these amazing technologies.
p.s. Peter edited this for me which is why there aren’t any curse words, and I apologize for that.
(editor’s note: the p.s. is bullshit!)
Keep writing. It saves lives.