September 2, 2010

It’s a wrap

In a couple of weeks I’ll be wrapping up this acid reflux inducing freelance gig and heading up to Ojai for a month-long retreat where I plan to write my ass off. Or not. I may just sleep all day long. Take meditative strolls along the mountain paths. Nap. Stare off into the pink horizon. Play guitar. Nap. Eat healthy foods. Let’s face it, I’m going up there to check out and isolate from everyone.

This retreat is the ideal way to quit life without having to kill myself.


While away, I don’t know if I’ll do blog updates because I need to work on my novel I’ve neglected these past seven months. And if all goes well with a very important meeting next week, well, I could be working on a movie script. Honestly, the main agenda is: 1) getting the fuck out of Los Angeles for an extended period of time and 2) not working in advertising for a little while.

(Dear God, if you are reading my blog, when I say “a little while” I actually mean “forever". As you are well aware, I’d love to get out of the ad game altogether because I’m old, exhausted, and mildly suicidal. And I just said “ad game” – do you see what I've turned into? If I do have to continue working in a field that makes my heart cringe and my soul shatter into tiny fractions, I’d appreciate working in a less toxic environment, one that doesn’t cause me to get severe acid reflux and horrible bouts of depression. p.s. If I do sell the movie script, I’d be incredibly nice to people, even homeless people.)

So anyway, the nights get pretty cold up in those mountains and I’m going to need some sort of outerwear to wrap around my weary, old lady bones. I considered a poncho, but immediately pictured Drew Barrymore, and while I enjoy her whimsical attempt at acting, that’s not my style. I was thinking maybe a Snuggie because I will need the use of my hands for all of the writing I plan to do between naps, but I don’t think I can bring myself to buy that retched thing. I’ll probably just cut a hole out of the middle of a fleece blanket and wear that on those chilly evenings.

As I work out these important details, I’m curious if any of my readers (the two of you) would be interested in updates regarding my adventures in Ojai. Something to the effect of – ‘here’s what I discovered today’. Although, I’d probably post the same thing every day: “Today I realized how much I love not working. Oh, and naps are fucking incredible.”

I’ll probably do some random postings. I don’t know. I might be too serene to be snarky. And nobody, especially me, wants to read sappy, peace-loving horseshit.

p.s. Per my last post, have you been counting the exorbitant amount of times people incorrectly use the word “like” in a sentence. It’s awful. When I catch myself, I deliberately start the sentence over - as punishment for sounding stupid.

Can you picture me on a mountain top in a Snuggie?


Keep writing. It saves lives.